WHO IS JACK SCHITT
>
> For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We
> find
> ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"
> Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
> intellectual way.
>
> Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
>
> Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of
> Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
>
> They had one son, Jack.
>
> In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
> produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
> Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
>
> Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
> high
> school dropout.
>
>
> After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt
> later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with
> them,
> she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt
> Sherlock.
>
> Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son >with
>
> a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
>
>
> Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
> inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens
> brothers in a dual
> ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
> Schitt-Happens nuptials.
>
>
> The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt,
> the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned
> from
> Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
>
>
> Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct
> them.
>
>     Sincerely,
>  Crock O. Schitt